You already know what’s coming before the encounter even begins: the same moves, the same sequence, and that question at the end: “Was that good?” Saying yes might be easier than figuring out what was missing. In the Ifop survey published in 2026, 56% of women surveyed who had already had sex said they had felt bored while making love at some point, even if only rarely. This figure doesn’t point the finger at anyone, nor does it suggest having more sex. It invites us to take a closer look at the routine we keep repeating, the space we make for each other’s pleasure, and what we dare to ask for.
56%: What kind of boredom are we talking about?
In its 2026 survey for JOYclub, Ifop reports that 56% of women surveyed who have had sex say they have felt bored while making love, even if only rarely. This total includes “often” (6%), “sometimes” (23%), and “rarely” (27%). Ifop groups the first two responses under “regularly”: 29% of women, compared to 16% of men. The survey was conducted online from March 6 to 9 among 2,210 adults residing in metropolitan France, including 1,160 women, using quota sampling. The figures cited here regarding boredom, orgasm, and feigning orgasm apply to people who have already had sexual intercourse. The survey collects their self-reports; it does not observe what happens in each bedroom.
The other figure raises a more intimate question than “how often?”: 67% of men say they reach orgasm during every sexual encounter or nearly every one, compared to 40% of women. It’s possible to enjoy sex without an orgasm; it’s also possible to reach orgasm while having been bored beforehand. The results on boredom and those on orgasm do not align on an individual basis. They invite us to talk about each person’s pleasure rather than to count the number of sexual encounters.
An evening that’s just like any other isn’t necessarily a problem. Familiarity can be reassuring, and many couples enjoy their routines. Boredom becomes a useful indicator when a person anticipates the same routine without wanting to go through with it, or finds themselves simply waiting for it to end. The question then isn’t about filling up the calendar. It’s about recognizing when curiosity, choice, or sensation have left the scene.
When Penetration Takes Center Stage
In some heterosexual couples, intercourse seems to have a predetermined beginning—a “real” moment equated with penetration—and an end determined by the man’s orgasm. This scenario is by no means universal; it becomes restrictive when it leaves no room for other gestures or time to express what feels good. Changing positions isn’t enough if the sequence of the encounter, the focus, and the conclusion remain the same.
A study published as open access in September 2026 in Sex Roles presents analyses based on data from up to 2,272 cisgender heterosexual individuals. Its questionnaire was circulated in 2021 and 2022 among volunteers, primarily in Switzerland, with a high proportion of young, college-educated individuals: this sample is not representative of the French population. Among the 1,549 respondents to the question, 9.6% reported that penile-vaginal penetration alone is sufficient to reach orgasm. In the analyses, having received oral sex during the last sexual encounter was associated with a higher reported frequency of orgasm; expressing what one enjoys was associated with this frequency in another comparison. These links do not guarantee the same outcome for everyone. The study captures responses at a specific point in time: it does not allow us to determine what influences what.
The figure does not dictate any set of instructions. Rather, it dispels a false assumption: penetration is not, for everyone, the automatic center of pleasure. Stimulation of the clitoris before, during, or without penetration; oral sex; a toy chosen together; or simply more time to feel the arousal building can change the experience. None of these actions is required. The right action is the one that the people involved desire, can refuse, and can adjust.
Before changing positions, change the conversation
You can start outside the bedroom, without turning the moment into a performance review. “I’d like us to take more time before penetration” says more than “it’s always the same.” “When you do that, slow down” offers guidance that the other person can follow. And “Today, I want caresses but not penetration” sets a clear boundary: you don’t have to make excuses.
During sex, a brief question is sometimes enough: “Like this, or more gently?” “Should we keep going?” “Do you want to try something else?” A hesitant response isn’t a green light to force the pace. A clear answer can change the action right away. The conversation isn’t meant to comment on every second; it prevents each person from playing the role they think is expected of them.
A very simple experiment is to set aside your usual routine for one evening. Decide together that penetration isn’t the goal, or that it will only happen if both of you want it. Take the time to explore a caress, a touch, a rhythm, then ask what to keep or change. There’s no score to reach by the end. If you’d like to incorporate a sex toy into this moment, our article on its role in a relationship helps you treat it as a shared choice, not as a competitor or a substitute.
This suggestion is only valid if it opens up possibilities without creating a new obligation. One partner may want to return to a slower pace; the other may prefer a more direct approach to sex. You need to be able to say yes to one idea, no to another, or change your mind along the way. That’s how an experiment becomes a discovery rather than a test.
Orgasm Shouldn’t Become a New Rule
The Ifop survey also reports that 57% of women aged 18 to 69 who have ever had sex say they have faked an orgasm. This finding describes an experience reported at some point in life; it says nothing about why each woman did it or what your relationship is like. But it serves as a reminder that a superficial “yes” can avoid a discussion in the moment while leaving the situation unchanged.
Asking “Did you come?” as if checking a result can make it harder to answer. Instead, ask what felt good, what didn’t, and what each of you would like to experience again. One person might want an orgasm, not have one, and still have enjoyed the encounter. Another might no longer want sex that consistently leaves her unsatisfied. Both of these statements deserve to be taken seriously without turning one into an obligation to climax or the other into a requirement to settle for sex that doesn’t suit them.
The comparison between the Ifop survey and the European study has a limitation: they do not ask the same questions of the same populations. The 67% and 40% figures from Ifop refer to “almost every sexual encounter”; the 9.6% from the study published in 2026 refers to female respondents who say penetration alone is sufficient to reach orgasm, within their own subsample. We cannot simply add these figures together to calculate a “recipe for pleasure.” We can, however, draw the same advice from both studies: do not assume that the act you most look forward to is the one that suits your partner.
When It’s No Longer Just Routine
A repetitive sexual routine can become unappealing. If pain, a lack of desire, tension between partners, or difficulty saying no is present, it must be addressed on its own merits, without assuming that boredom is the cause. A person who feels pressured, fears the other person’s reaction, or agrees to an act just to get it over with doesn’t need an additional technique: their boundaries must first be respected. A new practice does not erase pain or coercion.
If pain, distress, or persistent difficulties are weighing on your sex life, speaking with a healthcare professional or sexologist can help you understand what’s going on. This is not a conclusion to be drawn from a percentage, nor is it a diagnosis made by the survey. And if the relationship leaves little room for refusal, the priority is to regain that freedom, with appropriate help if necessary.
In a few words
The next time you’re alone together, set aside the question, “Should we do this more often?” Instead, ask: “What should we keep, what should we let go of, and what would we like to try?” A desired caress, a respected “no,” and a change in pace matter more than checking off a position on a list. Pleasure is built together, with the freedom to stop and start over in a different way.
