More than one in three young adults surveyed live with their parents, according to a U.S. study released on September 22, 2026, by the Kinsey Institute. When it comes to intimate encounters, living with others raises a very practical question: when will you be able to be alone? Researcher Rhonda Balzarini cites a lack of privacy and the constraints of having guests over as possible explanations for why such opportunities are rare.
You might want to have sex but not have a place to meet up. Or you might have a place, but decide against a date that’s too expensive, or let a free evening slip by while scrolling on your phone. I suggest we start with this practical question: what would allow you to see the person you’re interested in, in a setting that’s pleasant for both of you?
A Desire May Go Unfulfilled
The survey was completed online by 2,373 American adults aged 18 to 29. Quota-based sampling took into account factors such as age, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, region, and relationship status. The study is led by Rhonda N. Balzarini, along with Justin Garcia, Justin J. Lehmiller, and Amanda N. Gesselman, and is financially supported by Playboy and Julie, a brand of emergency contraception. This quota-based U.S. sample is not representative of France. No comparisons over time are provided in the survey documents.
The survey distinguishes between the number of partners, sexual desire, and sexual satisfaction. According to the summary published by the Kinsey Institute, 29% of respondents reported having zero partners over a three-month period, 19% have never had a partner, and 18% say they are dissatisfied with their sex lives. According to the study cited by the Kinsey Institute in an Elite Daily article, nearly eight out of ten young people surveyed described their desire as moderate to very high.
In other words: a period without a partner does not mean a lack of desire or a lack of sexuality. You can have a rich solo sex life, a strong desire, and simply not have been dating anyone lately. You might also be perfectly fine with that. Ask yourself if what you’re experiencing matches what you want. If the answer is yes, there’s nothing to fix. If it’s no, figure out what’s standing in your way.
When You Still Live with Your Parents
In this survey, according to Rhonda Balzarini’s comments reported by Elite Daily and cited by the Kinsey Institute, reported sexual desire did not differ between adults living with their parents and those who didn’t. The researcher suggests that housing constraints might explain this, though she doesn’t establish a causal link. This distinction resonates with anyone who’s ever had to lower their voice behind a thin door.
To ensure you have some privacy:
- Set clear boundaries with the people you live with. A simple, mature statement is enough: “On Saturday night, I’d like to have the apartment—or at least my room—to myself without being disturbed.” No need for details.
- Focus on timing rather than location. An afternoon when the house is empty is sometimes better than a complicated plan.
- Alternate between homes. If your partner has more privacy, just say so: “We’d have more peace and quiet at your place.”
- Set up the room as your own space: a lock if possible, soft lighting, and music to drown out noise. Make sure you both feel comfortable in this space.
A Date That Fits Your Budget
Money comes up twice in the survey, in two different questions. 43% of respondents say their financial worries make it harder to date or maintain a relationship. 37% say financial stress has a negative impact on their sex life. The same people could have answered “yes” to both.
A tight budget may lead you to choose a different type of date. I’d recommend discussing the plans early enough so that each of you can suggest what works best for you. You can share an idea and opt for a simple date.
| Perceived obstacle | What it really costs | Option chosen together |
|---|---|---|
| “I can’t treat you to a restaurant” | An evening that starts with an expense | Cooking dinner together, with each person bringing an ingredient |
| “Going out means the trip there + a drink + the trip back” | Time and money spent before you’ve even spoken | A walk, followed by a quiet spot at one of your places |
| “I don’t dare say I’m a little short on cash” | The awkwardness, more than the amount | Say it early: “I’d prefer something simple—is that okay with you?” |
| “The end of the month stresses me out” | Your mind’s elsewhere, even on a date | Choose a time outside the most stressful days |
As for financial stress, you can bring it up before the date: “Money’s on my mind right now. I want to see you, but I’d prefer we keep it simple.” This lets you plan the evening together, including a quiet night out without any new expenses. Financial difficulties are a reality; you don’t have to hide them just to spend time with someone.
Screens Can Help Maintain a Connection or Take Over the Entire Evening
Responses regarding digital technology reveal several patterns of use. About one in four respondents believes that online interactions (messages, social media, AI companions) fulfill some of their needs for intimacy or affection. And 28% say that time spent on screens reduces their motivation to seek out in-person sexual encounters.
So take these figures as a mirror rather than a verdict. An online exchange can fuel attraction or set up a date. You can also enjoy the remote connection for its own sake. The real question is: does the screen set the stage for a meeting, or does it replace it without you even realizing it?
Think about how you spent your last few free evenings. If you felt the urge to call, ask someone out, or meet up, but the evening ended with you scrolling through your phone, you’ve identified a concrete obstacle. Here are a few possible steps:
- Turn a prolonged conversation into a specific date proposal: “We’ve been talking about this for a week. How about Thursday, at my place?”;
- Set aside an evening free of notifications when you’re seeing someone, so that your time together is truly uninterrupted;
- Be okay with the opposite choice, too: if you’d rather chat online this month, that’s your right—as long as it’s a conscious choice and not just on autopilot.
Before suggesting a date, coordinate your schedules: one person might be free on a night when the other has to work early the next day, or might have a longer commute. Ask when the other person will be able to arrive and leave without any stress. Also decide whether you’d like to stay for a long time or meet up for a shorter period. These details allow you to make a suggestion that works for both of you. A date at your place can simply be dinner; you each retain the freedom to decide what happens next.
In a few words
Sometimes, luxury means not watching the clock. When you're together, leave room for the unexpected.
